i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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