He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
