You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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