exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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