There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
