In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
