I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize