is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
