Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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