and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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