she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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