And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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