reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
