another moral hangover. fuck.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
