it hurts more in the daytime
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
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