you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
