Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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