I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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