Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
