I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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