It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
