# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
