Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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