my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
