there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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