This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
