Got a toothbrush?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
