Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
