If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
