Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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