would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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