Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
