He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
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