Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
