what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
is that a dick in a sweater?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
