This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
