Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
