im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
