so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
