her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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