Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
