Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
