I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
