I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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