Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize