He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
