Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize