Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
