i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You are the jesus of drinking
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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