the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
