Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
is wine microwaveable?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
