like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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