Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
