oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
