For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
