He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
