Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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