Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
