get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
